Chamber Crashers

Today I launched my business....

.....off a cliff.

It’s scary. It’s unpredictable. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board with a blindfold on and no clue if there’s water below or just an empty concrete bowl and painful regret.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what the future holds. I just know I left the company I’d been shooting real estate for over the past couple years. That safety net? Yeah that's gone. I’m either about to fly or faceplant. No in-between.

So, naturally, I threw myself headfirst into a room full of confident strangers by attending the Pasco County Chamber of Commerce Young Professionals Group at Starkey Market in New Port Richey. That place started as a produce market but it's grown into this rustic, vintage-feeling hub with wood plank walls, foliage decor, and ranch‑style charm. Great coffee, house cold brew, and even a little ice‑cream bar. They even have a burger truck and kids play area.

It was a photographer’s dream. Soft gradient light, textured backdrops, strung lights, and angles for days. But walking into that open room of business owners felt like stepping into the inside of a malfunctioning speaker system. That echoing chatter ricocheting off the wood planks and rustic beams was deafening. I thought this was going to be the whole meeting.

Everyone seemed to know someone. I knew no one. I tried not to look like I was scanning for the nearest exit while casually sipping lukewarm coffee like it was my emotional support beverage.

I felt like Wedding Crashers, except without a witty Vince Vaughn counterpart....and without a wedding. Add in the fact that everyone was staring at me because I just abruptly dragged a rusty metal chair across the concrete floor during an introduction talk. You know, that perfect combination of chair and floor that creates a nice loud nearly emotionally scarring scraping noise?

Eventually the meeting starts. They go around the room asking people's names and what they do for business and inevitably it circles around to me. Now it's my turn.

Great.

I'm like Eminem right now except "mom's spaghetti" is actually just a gas station empanada from down the street and the only person I'm battling is myself......and apparently this stupid chair.

"Hi, I'm Rudolph and I'm an alcoholic"

Everyone laughs and promptly informs me that I'm in the wrong meeting.

I then go on about how I'm a commercial photographer and videographer and blah blah blah. Meanwhile in the back of my head I'm wondering how I'm going to make all this work. New baby at home. Bills, Responsibilities. Fear of the unknown.

"Do the best you can", I tell myself. "It's all you can do".

Sometimes you just have to hand it over to whatever higher power you possess. Pray over it. Boldly move forward. Focus on your next challenge. One day at a time. Lean on your support system and trust the process.

Eventually I return to whatever I'm saying during the meeting as if I just arrived from a random cutscene.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, photographer and videographer. Those are the things that I do to earn money and support my family. As if there aren't already enough photo/video guys around....

But here’s the thing… I showed up. Even though it was awkward. Even though my anxiety had me pre‑planning escape routes and making friends with the nearest potted plant. I showed up.

And that counts for something.

Also, I met a media and marketing person for Downtown New Port Richey.

...oh yeah, and a Commercial Real Estate Agent.

....oh, and a portrait photographer!

Definitely all good people who fit right in my wheelhouse.

Take THAT, negative voice in my head.

ANYWAY,

Today I’m grateful for:

• Having the guts to show up even when I feel small

• A new chapter, even if the page is blank right now

• The support of Krystal and my family

• The quiet strength I’ve found in recovery